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04/12/2018

The Power of No

Don't shake the tree when the pears fall off themselves.
Slovakian Proverb

"Wielded wisely, no is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. It often takes courage to say. It is hard to receive. But setting limits sets us free," writes Judith Sills, PhD, in an article in Psychology Today.

"No has two faces," she explains, "the one we turn toward ourselves and the one that creates boundaries between ourselves and others. The struggle to strengthen our internal No, the one we address to our own self-destructive impulses, is the struggle with which we are most familiar...the No we are able to say to others evolves through life...

It's remarkable how much some people will ask of you, even demand from you, things for which you yourself wouldn’t dream of asking. Protect yourself best from the many who feel entitled to ask by being strong enough to say a firm, clear, calm No."

Source: “The Power of No,” by Judith Sills, PhD, December, 2013, Psychology Today



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