Challenging Behavior Redefined

In an article on the NBC News website, early childhood consultant Tamar Jacobson writes:

"At a conference about discipline this year, people in the room shared stories about children’s negative behaviors, which they labelled ‘attention-seeking.’ It made me wonder why children wanting attention is such a negative idea: Did we learn as children that it was bad, or even shameful, to want attention in the first place? And then, during the discussion at my session, I said: What if instead of saying (or thinking), ‘She is just doing it for attention… ignore her,’ we said (or thought) instead, 'She is just doing it for relationship.’

I discovered that, when we replaced the idea of children seeking attention with children wanting a relationship, we began to talk differently about how, as adults, to react. For example, in relationship, we don’t ignore a person’s cry out for us; we become more present, listening and observing patiently.”

And speaking of the importance of relationships, Deb Curtis, writing in an Out of the Box Training Kit, “Seeing How Children See Us,” describes some key factors in helping children develop a trusting relationship with adults. She asks educators to reflect on these questions:

• "Do our faces show delight or consternation?
• Do our hands soothe or scold?
• Do our voices invite singing together or command silence?
• Do our bodies overwhelm children with our size and power or wrap them up in comfort?"

Source: https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/child-s-bad-behavior-isn-t-attention-seeking-she-s-ncna1015266

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