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04/21/2021

Being of Service to Others

Joy is hidden in sorrow and sorrow in joy. If we try to avoid sorrow at all costs, we may never taste joy.
Henri Nouwen

In her helpful and popular book, Happiness is Running through the Streets to Find You: Translating Trauma’s Harsh Legacy into HealingHolly Elissa Bruno includes this quote from professor, writer and theologian, Henri Nouwen:

“Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. The main question is not, ‘How can we hide our wounds?’ so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but ‘How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?’”

In her book, Holly Elissa Bruno writes candidly about how, during a talk she was giving about childhood abuse, she realized she was one of the children she was describing. She made the brave decision to tell her audience about her childhood trauma. She explains,

“In that wobbly moment, I determined I must tell my truth…I had kept silent out of loyalty to my family, I was the statistic I was talking about in my keynote. From my heart then, I thanked each early childhood professional for her/his life-giving role in helping children like me feel safe, protected, cared for and yes, loved…‘Without teachers like you…I wouldn’t be standing here today,’ I marveled.”

And in an article that forms the basis for an Exchange Reflections, “Supporting Children Impacted by Trauma”, Angela Bayer-Persico writes this to educators, “First things first: Put on your own oxygen mask. As educators, we need to take care of ourselves first. Label and name your feelings…Your feelings are valid.”  Many educators, just as Holly Elissa, have also experienced some kind of difficulty during childhood. And, as Henri Nouwen says, “nobody escapes being wounded.” As Bayer-Persico urges, “we need to take care of ourselves first,” and then use what we’ve learned from our own challenges to help others.


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